With all the request I decided to update my blog again. I'm starting to realize that without constant updates, how am I going to increase my followers. So if you read this please follow, then your friends to follow, and have them tell their friends to follow, and this whole blog can just snowball into a bigger focal point that Waka Flocka's career (shout outs to the man himself, Mr. O Let's Do It is blowin up around the country)! So shit what to talk about...........................................

Ok College ish it is then!
So Saturday before last I was kidnapped and taken to a bomb ass house party. Most people keep saying "it's not kidnapping if you went willingly", but I say it was and this is my blog I was commanded to get into the car, so I was kidnapped imo (in my opinion). While at this party I some great experiences. I met a bunch of new people and had about 3 cups of some dank ass PJ which put exactly where I needed to be if you know what I'm saying. Numerous females dropped that "daddy u cute" line on me, but they won't tryna do nothin' so I won't wit it (The grammar in this last sentence is intended to be that bad). Let me tell you if you didn't already know drunk people are funny as shit. I feel like I lol'd for about 2 straight hours. Between cup 2 and 3 I started reaching that "tryna fuck?" mode. So I dropped a few jokes, had chicks rollin and grabbin on my balls. I was quite disappointed that the three crotch grabs I received didn't go past that, but "On to the NEXT ONE!" The next opportunity that is. Anyway in typical fashion, cops came and shutdown the party causing the contents of the house to empty down the staircase and 50 drunk people running down a staircase is some funny shit, let me tell ya!

After this I walked to [B]Ski's left my coat in my kidnapper's car, where it still is, and proceeded to stay in "Tryna Fuck?" mode. I failed at my conquest yet again, along they way demonstrating my oral sex abilites on my food in, only to stain my 501's with hot sauce don't ask me how? I do remember throwing away my half eaten fries because they got cold, needed salt, and I couldn't use them for my demonstration. I think I drank some lemonade while I was there. It wasn't good, as a matter of fact, I think it gave me the bubble guts so damn you lemonade! Anyway I catch the bus back to O-Ville (Odum Village, not Orgasm Village as I'm sure you all were thinking). On the bus I remember being quite witty. I think I described my alcoholic state as a Drake Mixtape or "So Far Gone." Somehow I managed to seduce a female into sitting on my lap, yet she refused to say goodbye to me! I think I blew in her ear... no I'm 100% sure I blew in her ear and caressed her arm. I probably wouldn't have said goodbye to me either, but she had laid hands on my nuts earlier so I was justified in my actions.

The bus reached what I thought was my stop, but it wasn't so I hoped off and went into my friend's building. I remember trying to fly, outstretching my arms and sprinting down the pathway to the dormitory. A kind sameritin let me in the building and I went to talk to my homies. They were asleep and I said some ruthless comment to the groggy one brave enough to open the door I was banging on. I then stumbled down the hallway and faced one of the most difficult challenges of my life. A spiral staircase vs. A Pretty Intoxicated VIP. I conquered that bitch like a champ! Then walked back to my dorm drunk dialing people. As I was drunk dailing and drunk walking (a double foul) I managed to stop at a crosswalk refusing to J-Walk and trying to appear sober to the cop driving by me. I put on that Victor Ivan Perry (yeah that's my government don't wear it out) Emotionless Stare Down, and he learned his place and drove the fuck off when his light turned green. I walked the rest of the way back to my room continuing to drunk dial my most recent contacts including hanging up on 1 person when they had to potty ( I ain't got time to wait on you to use the bathroom). I called back said ball grabbers 1 of which refusing to answer the other having a random conversation with me. I blew up the bathroom in my apartment and went to sleep.

I woke up at like 10 the next morning giving me only 5 hours of sleep, and still couldn't make my roomate's 1:00 performance because I was still tipsy. I felt bad for my roomate, but I know he curb stomped his performance. Now I sit here a week later telling you of my conquests. Who'd've thought a night that started with watching the "Hurt Locker" (yeah it kicked chests in at the Oscars cause it's a good fucking movie!) and merely going back to my room to change clothes to try and bogard my way into a frat party to which I wasn't invited, would end with me shitting and dailing drunk.
Pros to my night: Getting kidnapped by a guy who when he stopped the car 2 girls ran out screaming, getting my cohones felt up on, and Chapel Mutha' Fuckin' Hill for being so live!
Cons to the night: my coat is still in my kidnapper's car, not getting any play play from the lay-days, and Chapel Mutha' Fuckin' Hill for not letting my niggas roll up to the party with me.