Ooh La La, Laura Dore representing for the white girls, ore partially white. Anyways New Year's story time!!!
So New Year's Eve a.k.a. "Let's all get fucked up night," rolled around and I had no plans just like my previous 19 New Year's Eves until @OptimusRhymesNC hit me up with a chill spot opportunity and let's be honest hanging with the crew is definitely more fun than watching all the "Friday the 13th" movies like I had planned. So pops had left on a liquor store run and I jet setted over to Nashville. So as usual AJ invited me to someone else's house and me, him, and @Phill_Babyy waited for @SlackBerryFTW to get off work. We watched UP while we were waiting as AJ clowned everyone who came into David's house visiting. Eventually David got off work, and him and Phill played Pokemon until it was time to go. So we left for David's on again off again girlfriend Leah's house. As soon as I walked in the door I was greeted by a very unpleasant "Wassup nigga" from a middle-aged white woman. I slowly looked around at my fellow black males in the room, yet they just met me with one those "this is how she usually acts" faces. She then informed me that she didn't mean anything by it, but it just "killed" her when we did things like that. After this wonderful introduction she proceeded to show me a picture of her incarcerated black boyfriend holding a dandelion flower standing next to a brick wall. It took every ounce of modesty in me to not laugh at the irony of this picture. She made more and more mildly offensive remarks and sexual advances towards us black men folks. Her daughter and her two unattractive friends grew quite embarrassed prompting us to vacate her home for a seemingly safer location in a redneck bar, don't worry I thought the same thing, named "Sharks & Shooters."
Walking into Sharks & Shooters and this place smells like an ashtray. AJ & I can't get into the back room because we aren't 21 yet so we wait in the pool hall bringing in the new year with shitty jokes. We eventually leave heading to a house party that no one, not even the host, decided to attend, so we went back to the house of drunk white woman. We pull up in the drive way and are met by a large pick-up trick which belongs to the racist ex-boyfriend of the drunk white lady, the same one who dates the black guy, I waited outside for him to leave, then drunk white lady passed out on a pallet in the middle of the living room. We then proceeded to chill in the house, while Leah kept asking if anyone knew how to "roll." Eventually another black guy and white girl came to the house who solved Leah's conundrum. I became alarmed when Leah's grandmother came home to a bunch black men sitting on her porch at 3am, but she just walked past and asked us to keep it down. She then told us how she'd been to 3 bars that night and had a good time. Eventually me and some of the other niggas got hungry so we headed to sheets, and leaving all the white girls there passed out and unbothered contrary to popular belief.
The trip to Sheets for food was quite fun. Phill belligerently ordered about $20 worth of food including a peperoni burger. Then he thought AJ was a hat rack and proceeded to carry on a conversation with it. While waiting on my food I managed to see the most beautiful derriere I'd ever seen in my life. I literally dreamed about her ass that night. I would've put a few moves on her, but she was with her man and he was an extra angry- extra large lookin-ass-nigga so I refrained. Then a cute girl flashed in but quickly ran back to her car because the males in the placed looked like a pack of wolves when she entered the building. We cop the food and head back to David's house around 4am to watch Prince of Persia but everybody just fell asleep on the couch. My dad called worried about me at 5am because I hadn't talked to hiim in 5hrs so I just woke up and drove home.
Oh what a night.
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